Bradley Cooper Thought I Wouldn't Solve His Blind Item But I Did
The Friday Post.
Tonight: A Tom Cruise tantrum … Drake does 27 Dresses … Beyoncé returns, Bradley Cooper gives a blind item … This is The Friday Post, Hung Up’s weekly roundup of celebrity mess and miscellanea. If you like this kind of thing, why not subscribe?
Bradley Cooper has been chatty lately. On the 100th episode of SmartLess, the podcast hosted by Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, and Sean Hayes that I previously never knew existed, Cooper talked about addiction, fatherhood, and the movie he wrestled out of Jake Gyllenhaal’s clutches (Maestro). His quotes about being addicted and getting sober have gotten a lot of pick-up, but somehow Cooper dropping a pair of funny blind items has not:
The filmmaker bit I don’t really care about — I mean truly that could’ve been anyone, no? But I put our country’s best minds to work solving the actress mystery. And by our country’s best minds I mean: Myself, and Kyle Buchanan.
First: This would’ve happened in 2013, not 2011. Silver Linings Playbook was released in 2012, and the Oscars were held at the top of 2013. (CAA’s party was held Oscar weekend, at the Greystone Mansion.)
Second: It’s probably a CAA actress since it was that agency’s party, not that that really narrows anything down.
Third, per Kyle:
I mean, be serious: who comes to mind but Isabelle Huppert!
We continued to put our heads together.
A final note, from Kyle: “Mention that Huppert was rude to me at a dinner party once but that I lived for it.”
Case closed! I don’t know that it was Huppert but I think it was Huppert, and that is good enough for me.
What Paying Subscribers Got This Week
I’m not sure how, between Miles Teller and Glen Powell, you chose Miles Teller. But Tom Cruise made that choice!
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News Briefs
Todd Philips has set his sights on either New York, New York or Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (Ellen Burstyn played a singer in that one, don’t forget!): Lady Gaga is circling the Joker squeakquel. (The Hollywood Reporter)
Netflix released the first trailer for the Ana de Armas-as-Marilyn movie Blonde. (Variety)
Mo’Nique and Netflix settled the comedian’s lawsuit alleging racial and gender bias. (Deadline)
A draaaaaaging today! (NYT)
Battle Stations! She’s Coming! She Back!
Queen Elizabeth had her little party or whatever. Queen Beyoncé has: Renaissance. B7, Bey’s first Jay-Z free offering since 2016’s Lemonade, will be released July 29. That’s my mama and y’all can tweet, you can do whateva … you can tweet till you get blue in the face, I don’t care … she can have whatever she want … cause that’s my mama …!
If I have to download Tidal again, so be it.
Edward Enninful previewed the album the cover of British Vogue: “Instantly, a wall of sound hits me. Soaring vocals and fierce beats combine and in a split second I’m transported back to the clubs of my youth. I want to get up and start throwing moves. It’s music I love to my core,” Enninful wrote. “Music that makes you rise, that turns your mind to cultures and subcultures, to our people past and present, music that will unite so many on the dance floor, music that touches your soul. As ever with Beyoncé, it is all about the intent. I sit back, after the wave, absorbing it all.”
What! Did! I! Say! When She shared a baby photo of Michael B. Jordan that was just a damn screenshot from The Wire … I knew she was up to something! (Or that someone’s direct deposit didn’t hit.)
*Iyanla Vanzant Voice* Not On My Watch!
The Ankler reports that Tom Cruise killed a commercial Glen Powell and Lewis Hamilton shot for watchmaker IWC. The morning of the shoot, Hamilton called Cruise, and Tom Cruise freaked, called Paramount, and made a deal that the commercial be held until after Top Gun: Maverick’s release. Later, Tom Cruise decided he didn’t want the commercial to air at all.
“Cruise was a lunatic about having control over all things Top Gun — release, marketing, tie-ins, etc.,” a source told The Ankler. “[He] literally got a Swiss company to trash a large budget commercial because he wanted it scrapped. I can’t think of one A-lister who would get involved at such a granular level.”
A Man Released Music
Honestly, Nevermind, Drake’s seventh album, released midnight on Friday. He’s not doing a lot of rapping on this album, but I have come to expect very little from a Drake release because they are all … how do I say this … exactly the same? (Everything More Life and after has been indistinguishable to me, Drake being more Drake. )But Honestly, Nevermind is backed by house and dance beats that at least sound less Drake. (The raps leave a lot to be desired IMO.)
The “Falling Back” visual, however… I have to give a laugh where a laugh is due. Drake weds 23 women (pray for them), with best man Tristan Thompson by his side.
Tristan. Thompson. Tristan’s occupation is “basketball player” but his vocation is: cheater! He is a philanderer that moonlights as a ball player. (If only Adrian Lyne got a hold of this man, chile… the cinema that could happen!)
Thompson’s appearance in the Drake video coincides with The Kardashians episode where Khloé learns that Thompson got another woman pregnant. “There's nothing that can be said or done that will make me feel better,” Khloé said. “All of the work, the energy, the conversations, all of those bricks that we were laying down [for] this foundation — all for it to just [have] a tornado go through and everything to be demolished.” To be clear that tornado's name was: Tristan Trevor James Thompson.
Daddy’s Home
I asked for Ryan Gosling to come off paternity leave, and Greta Gerwig heard my prayer!
Ignoring Warner Bros. keeps sharing these weird candid loosies and not actual stills — where is that Discovery money? — I like this. This is exactly what I want Ken to be. Square jaws … Hollywood Chrises … handsome men are a dime a dozen in this town honey! I want the weird stuff, the kitschy plastic look, the frosted tips on Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading.
Anthony Thotkins
After the Oscars, Anthony Hopkins said let’s have peace, and love, and quiet. But it’s summer now! Let’s have peace, and love, and being outside!
The Slap Day 1894892
Tyler Perry was NOT comforting Will Smith after The Slap. He was “de-escalating” the situation. (Lol.) Perry told Gayle King at the Tribeca Fest: “There’s a difference between comforting and de-escalating, that’s number one,” Perry told King. “And I left early to get to Chris to make sure he was okay. Being friends with both of them has been very difficult.”
Immediately following the slap, Perry said, Smith was in shock. “He couldn’t believe he did it. And I’m looking at this man in his eyes going, ‘What are you doing? This is your night.'” He continued, “And to get all the way to this moment, winning an Oscar, that was one of the crowning moments of his career that he wanted so desperately,” Perry said. “And to have something like that happen, I think he is very much in reflection of trying to figure out what happened.”
Bradley Cooper, who, devoted Hung Up readers will recall, was the other person flanking Will Smith in the immediate aftermath of the moment … your turn … !
The Bless His Heart Beat
Happy birthday to Camila Morrone, actress, model, and girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio. She is now 25!
Cami turning 25 only reminds me of my own 25th birthday … was I ever so young …
The Leo-25th birthday rule, of course, is not a hard line. 9125 days of life is not the cut-off… it’s that no girlfriend ever makes it to 26. (Per mother supreme Lainey Gossip: “Nina Agdal, for example, turned 25 in March of 2017 when she and Leo were together. They broke up just before the Cannes Film Festival which is in May. So she had a couple of months of being 25 before her girlfriend status expired. Which means there’s precedent for going past the actual 25th birthday, just not anywhere close to the 26th birthday.”)
Will there be a breakup soon? Well she’s working, and he and his facetune app are in France. So who knows! What I know for sure is that he’s not getting a text back from Rihanna anytime soon.
That’s all this week! Thank you for reading. This weekend I am in Massachusetts — for the briefest of two hours, I was in B*ston! I had the misfortune of passing a Boloco … imagine if a Panera and a Chipotle had a one night stand … and the Chipotle never paid child support … Anyway bye lol have a good weekend!
I just remembered Will Smith and Bradley Cooper are both from Philadelphia.
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