Our Long National Nightmare Is Over
The Friday Post.
More from Hung Up this week: A Club Chalamet update … a hilariously quiet chat about the Taylor Swift Disney+ thing … and my celebrity crush has a book coming out.
Where were you when you heard the news? I was running errands in Soho yesterday afternoon and stopped by Cult Gaia to try on that top I put in my gift guide. I opened my phone to Instagram and almost collapsed onto the store’s pink-ish sectional. I almost knocked over a rack of purses that are exclusively designed for the “wedding of the girl you secretly want out of the group chat.” I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Are you finding everything okay,” a sales associate said to me, standing behind the register with a group of her co-workers.
“Are you a Love Island person?” I asked.
“No, but oh my God, you’re so sweet, like was I on the show? No, but I—” she began.
“No — sorry — I mean, does anyone here watch Love Island?” I asked. Everyone smiled and nodded. “Ace and Chelley just broke up. Oh my God. I can’t believe this.”
“Yeahhhh,” one of the associates said. “We were just talking about that!”
“I’m in shock. I feel like I just found out that bin Laden was shot,” I said. I turned to exit and listen to Drake on my headphones1, after announcing to the otherwise-empty store that I was so happy to have shared this moment with them.
A lot of people lie on the internet — Ruthkanda forever, etc. — but I promise you this entire interaction took place this afternoon at approximately 1:33 p.m. and I have done my best to record it truthfully.
