Could An Illiterate Woman Do THIS⁉️
The Friday Post.
This email is too long and will cut off in your inbox so click the headline to read on-site … This is The Friday Post, Hung Up’s weekly roundup of celebrity mess and miscellanea. If you like this kind of thing, why not subscribe?
We are four days away from Lea Michele making her Funny Girl debut, but maybe only halfway through Michele’s image rehabilitation tour. The latest stop: The New York Times, where she addressed, you know, all of it: replacing Beanie Feldstein, how that replacement actually went down, allegations of racism, bullying, and general diva-hood on the set of Glee, how much she loves Barbra Streisand, how honored she is to finally be playing Fanny Brice.
“Online hatred of her can verge on gleeful,” — lol — “and she fears that if she responds to criticism — or a bizarre rumor that she is illiterate — it will fuel the fire,” the Times reported. But respond she has: “I went to Glee every single day; I knew my lines every single day,” Michele said. “And then there’s a rumor online that I can’t read or write? It’s sad. It really is. I think often if I were a man, a lot of this wouldn’t be the case.”
Lea Michele said: You say I cannot read or write. But could a woman who can’t read or write do THIS? But the “this” is just, you know, memorizing. That is what people who cannot read have to do. The fact that she engaged with this in a serious way is hilarious to me. The fact that it’s the most backwards reply imaginable — bellissima!
Maybe she’s right about one thing: This would not be happening to a man. Men have low reading comprehension and get hired everyday. I mean look at J. Cole.
What Paying Subscribers Got This Week
Hung Up’s Summer-In-Review, including but not limited to: the book show of the summer, the ass-eating of the summer (I actually forgot to make this a category, but: obviously The Staircase), the book I am screaming about to everyone I know, and the most personally embarrassing thing that happened to me this summer.
Even by Hung Up’s standards I have spent too much time on J.Lo this week, but: based on photos shared in her OnTheJLo newsletter, she wore a pink lip during the wedding weekend, but a glossy nude lip throughout the wedding night itself.
Another thing: I profiled Yahya Abdul-Mateen II for this week’s New York Magazine.
Leonardo DiCaprio, age 47, has ended his relationship with Camila Morrone, age 25 years and 75 days (or thereabouts, depending on what exactly the breakup was). Leo is handling the breakup in the only way he knows how: “Leo has been out every night partying,” a source told Page Six. “He’s been hanging with his old crew and some girls.” It is only a matter of days until we get pics of New York City major Eric Adams and Pussy Posse social chair Leonardo DiCaprio entering or leaving Zero Bond, or, the Geriatric Dumbo House. (Camila Morrone got breakup bangs, and is on vacation I think.)
But an old dog can apparently learn new tricks: I’m hearing the Gigi-Leo rumors are true. Men play tooooo muuuuuuch— this man really said Rihanna is a mother now! Maybe it’s time for me too! I see the type of stan he is.
While we’re on the subject, give this rep a raise: Nina Agdal, I guess, wants us to think she and Leo are getting back together?? Per Page Six: “While DiCaprio is Agdal’s most famous ex” — SCREAM, it is obvious that Gisele is the most famous and the only one not bound by an NDA — “it’s more likely that the text came from Logan Paul, with whom the model recently sparked dating rumors.”
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Meghan of Montecito
Meghan Markle is on the cover of The Cut, and this part … honestly it has burrowed its way into my subconscious, I cannot stop thinking about it, I will never get over it:
I am generally ambivalent about Meghan Markle, but, yeah, asking for your guttural sounds to be transcribed is a slay.
There are approximately 300 more words to his answer — including something about “vapor and mist” and “frontier of your unconscious” — but in that wilderness of words he gets at a fair point: he takes his work very seriously, and why shouldn’t he?
As For Me And My House, We’re Worrying Darling
After the Florence Pugh silent treatment and the Shia LaBeouf fallout, the Olivia Wilde Don’t Worry Darling press tour presses on. The latest: an Interview Q&A with Maggie Gyllenhaal.
And while we’re on the subject:
Emma Watson in Little Women. Idris Elba in Molly’s Game. Harry Styles in Don’t Worry Darling.
The Harry Styles accent will send me into Joker mode. You cannot make me listen to this for two hours and twenty minutes. Cary Grant rolling in his fucking grave.
Just Filthy Nasty Gutter Trash, This Man Has Hinkley California’s Toxic Water Running Through His Veins, Raggedy Patchy Facial Hair-Having, Booger In Donald Trump’s Nose Ass Bitch!!!!!!
And that’s me being polite.
Kevin Federline, employed only as a scourge in society and nowhere else, has put his sons on a press tour to denigrate their mother Britney Spears. After the Daily Mail released a written excerpt from a documentary that features Sean Preston (16), Jayden (15), Kevin Federline (old enough to know better), and his wife Victoria (39) discussing Spears’s mothering, Britney posted a note on IG addressing her sons:
White kids get away with a lot, but this is just so clearly the machinations of their damn daddy … "I helped your father who hasn't had a job in 15 years ... I assume it is easier for you guys to not have someone check on you to make sure you're doing your homework !!!!” She’s so real for this. “I'm sure the standards of your dad smoking weed every day benefits your daily life at 15 and 16 to partake in a VERY COOL GENERATION !!! I completely understand your need to live with your father as I had to play the perfect role for 15 years for absolutely nothing." Tack that onto the end of Megan Thee Stallion’s “Plan B!”
This IG post comes after Britney recorded a 22-minute audio and posted it to YouTube, detailing more of her parents' actions during her 13-year conservatorship.
I cannot wait for the next Wall Street Jordan about all this. Her ex, her parents, her sister — just evil, stinky, foul people.
A Note About the Television Program Known As The VMAs
MTV will be facing United Nations sanctions for platforming Barbz.
The VMAs were a good night for Taylor Swift (she won awards) but a great night for Amy Adams’s 2027 Oscar Best Actress clip! This is the moment that will be selected, and on that night — and not a moment before! — she will finally take home the award she so richly deserves.
A thought exercise that just occurred to me is: in the Tree Paine biopic, who plays Taylor Swift? Chloë Grace Moretz, Elle Fanning, Florence Pugh, Hayley Lu Richardson, Emma Watson (but in a hat and sunglasses … that Harry Potter money isn’t as long as it used to be), Anya Taylor-Joy, Kathryn Newton, and Maya Hawke walk into a room … and only Eliza Scanlen walks out!
Stacey Dash, former actress and current professional light skinned-Republican, just learned about DMX’s death.
I’m sorry but I do not have any respect for people who cry and their first instinct is to turn on a front-facing camera.
Like A Pig in Slop!
…is a description of my own glee when Irina Shayk posted a photo dump from a vacation with Bradley Cooper. It appears the on-again-off-again couple is … on again? Or maybe they are just happily co-parenting.
One thing about Irina Shayk: she’s going to post! I love that about her.
That’s all this week. Thank you for reading! I will now be occupying my time by counting down the days until Tár. In the meantime I will make the U.S. Open my entire personality. Have a good weekend!