Today is the last day of 2023, but more importantly, it is Sunday, and I keep forgetting to post this video on Sunday nights:
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I do not have much to offer in the way of end-of-year reflection and posting an in/out list is not part of God’s plan for my life. I have the same resolutions every year: to watch more movies, to read more fiction, to figure out how to get a Celluma without paying full price, and to get better at doing my own makeup. (In the last twelve months I have made no real progress on those last two.)
When I look back on 2023, my first thought will be: I cannot believe I didn’t write more about Bill DeBlasio’s divorce rollout. I can’t believe I didn’t have Bill de Blasio divorce blogs running out of my ears, I can’t believe my cup didn’t runneth over with Bill de Blasio divorce blogs. Bill de Blasio got divorced during the summer of divorce — I know clout chasing when I see it — and got overshadowed by every other famous person’s divorce. He gave the New York Times an oral history of his mid-life crisis (“‘I never anticipated ever doing anything with hair color,’ he said of his now strikingly dark close-crop, adding that the current shading is a bit more pronounced than he intended.”) and it wasn’t even the twelfth most notable story of the summer. And then his new girlfriend rollout was sabotaged by the girlfriend’s husband giving an interview to Page Six! (I know the Ariana Grande’s Sponge Bob boyfriend’s ex-wife Lilly Jay playbook when I see it.) No, I’m sorry, be serious. So much happened this year and also not a lot happened this year. That Bill de Blasio story just feels like an apt encapsulation of it all.
The main character of Hung Up this year was Taylor Swift, and by Taylor Swift of course I mean Tree Paine. Did anyone work harder to launch, launder, and then banish Matty Healy? And then the football boyfriend rollout? And the Horcruxes line? And the Renaissance tour movie-Eras tour movie premiere tradeoff?
The first runner-up is Romy Mars, the daughter of Sophia Coppola and Thomas Mars, who invited her followers on TikTok to “make a vodka sauce pasta with me because I’m grounded because I tried to charter a helicopter from New York to Maryland on my dad’s credit card because I wanted to visit a camp friend.” Iconic, spectacular, no notes — the best part of the Romy Mars TikTok is that she has not really posted anything since. When the world needed her most she vanished. She was a one-woman, one-post Priscilla press tour, and that movie opened to a $100 million box office in my house.
Second runner-up: Club Chalamet. I mean this sincerely: did anything bring me more joy this year than any single Club Chalamet post? Every bad opinion, every meltdown over Kylie Jenner, every detail of Club Chalamet’s lore — now that is a woman after Hung Up’s heart. I could write something thoughtful and nuanced about how Stan Twitter is the season finale of the internet as we know it or I could just say that Club Chalamet is one ijbol after another, and I thank her for her service. The fact that I can repurpose my Club Chalamet Halloween costume wig to be Kamala Harris laughing next Halloween? Bidenomics.
2023 Honorable mentions for: Siobhan Roy saying her dad “couldn’t fit a whole woman in his head.” Bartise from Love Is Blind surprise launching his baby on IG. My most conspiratorial, internet-addled brain speculation is that Reese Witherspoon could’ve singlehandedly ended the SAG strike but didn’t want to do Morning Show press around the time of her divorce. Lastly: The Passages meeting-the-parents crop top. Some of yall about to be real mad at me but it must be said: I have had enough of boygenius. Enough!
Top 10 Posts
Dealers' choice — my personal favorites
Succession Power Rankings
401: “Where’s All Your Kids, Uncle Logan?”
402: “You’re Not Serious People”
403: “The Wedding Grinch”
404: “Coronation Demolition Derby”
405: “Hanna-Barbera Business School”
406: “Human Chernobyl”
407: “The Great Toxification”
408: “I Don’t Think of Things Such As That”
409: “Glad-handing the Sad Faces”
410: “The End”
Season four in review: “Are There Any Positives to the Nightmare We’ve Shared?”
Seven Ways to End Succession
Kendall’s Name Was on a Piece of Paper
A (very) short list of some really spectacular things I read this year, and still think about: In Conversation: 50 Cent and In Conversation: Karen O. (Both NYMag) Eras I Regret (
) My Impossible Mission to Find Tom Cruise. (NYT Mag) A million funny new-Gawker blogs that are now (still??) lost from the internet. (RIP!) Story ( )Some other things I wrote this year, if you missed them: A profile of Jenna Ortega for Elle. A SZA profile for the WSJ. I reviewed the opening night of the Renaissance tour for New York Magazine. I curated this selection of black movies (and a special emphasis on Denzel movies, just because I felt like it!) for AppleTV to celebrate Juneteenth. And, of course, my man my man my man!!!!
But mostly I spent 2023 at my desk (or on my couch, or sometimes in an airport lounge, and a few times while at dinner) writing this newsletter, right here, for you. Happy New Year! xx
Your brain & words genuinely made my year better, thank you for your service
This is *the* only Year in Review that matters. 💞✨