It Needs To Be Said: The NPR Tiny Desk Is Too Junky

Damn bitch yall work like this 🫣

Billie Eilish performing at NPR’s Tiny Desk in December. Photo: Screenshot.

I shouldn’t have to tell you this. You clicked the subject line. You know what I’m about to say. You know it. And not only do you know it, you have known it. If we were on my granny’s front porch she’d say you been known it. And I know why you’re not saying it: “People are scared. Scared to put themselves out there. I get it.” Our nation is more divided than ever, Adrien Brody might be about to win his second Oscar, climate change will ravage our earth, Olive Garden has raised their prices again … etc. It is dangerous to have an opinion in this current culture where Ryan Reynolds has a Twitter account and Harry Potter is being rebooted for some reason.

Fine. Whatever. If I’m flying solo with this opinion, at least I’m flying free: The NPR Tiny Desk is too damn junky.

I cannot be complicit in this any longer. This is a nightmare. This is a disaster. It has gone too far. I need you to be so for real right now, I’m requesting complete and utter seriousness: This desk is a mess. It’s out of control, period. If I worked in this office, if I even had to step foot on this floor, I would cover my eyes. We are beyond quibbling about how “tiny” the titular desk is. This is not a desk. This is your friend’s family garage, the one no one can park in, the one too full of discarded science projects and Halloween decorations and toolboxes of various sizes and maybe a bike with a flat tire, and, and, and …. It’s not the house you went to growing up because the parents didn’t care what you did. It’s the house you specifically start a side chat to avoid returning to.