Jeff Bezos Presents: Cinderella

Full Legal Name: Cinderella Girlboss Woodcock.

It’s giving dots! Photo: Amazon.

“Why are you not married,” Alma Elson asks Reynolds Woodcock in Phantom Thread, a good movie. “Because I make dresses,” he replies. That bit of dialogue comes to mind when I think of Jeff Bezos Presents: Cinderella, in one girlboss (among many) tries to find love and maybe repair a few hems in the process. 

The Amazon-Camila Cabello Cinderella is a strange fable that seems to insist on its own total irrelevance. It’s 2021 and Cinderella can reach her logical end: she can go to a ball to get herself a boyfriend and a job. (But not an apartment; as the prophet Carrie Bradshaw proclaimed, you can only have one of the three, not all!) Cinderella, directed by Pitch Perfect’s Kay Cannon, is a movie starring, in order of importance, Minnie Driver, other people, and discarded bridesmaid dresses from Rent The Runway. 

It’s not funny, but funny-adjacent, like funny’s next door neighbor, the script funny didn’t text back, the house that an actual sense of humor miss…