John Krasinski Is an Alive Man
The Friday Post.
When I think of John Krasinski, an American actor born in Boston, I think Yes, he’s definitely alive.1 John Krasinski? He definitely inhales oxygen and exhales carbon dioxide. And absolutely that oxygen moves his blood. He has internal organs aplenty, neurotransmitters galore. And that’s something special! I don’t think that about everyone. There are some people who are among us but not with us if you know what I mean. (Melania Trump and her body doubles.)
People recently took the sentence “John Krasinski is alive, man” — again totally agree, no notes — and added the word sexy, then switched the words “alive” and “man.” This is why reading comprehension and media literacy are so important in an era of mass disinformation. A true statement becomes something else … here is where we encounter some problems.
The rumor, via Deuxmoi so take it with a grain of salt, is that the sexiest man alive title is for sale, bought by a man who “knows that people are losing interest in him.” That applies to Krasinski, a CIA agent on television but also in real life, sure, but it also applies to … many of the men who have made the cut! (The Rock, John Legend2, Blake Shelton, Michael B. Jordan, Chris Evans, Paul Rudd3, Patrick Dempsey almost a decade after he left Grey’s Anatomy…) There’s another rumor that the most obvious choice this year, Glen Powell4, declined People’s offer.
John Krasinski could be the sexiest man at an airport Panera. He could very well be the sexiest man on the campus of a small midwestern private university. He could be the sexiest man at a Pottery Barn outlet, getting a great deal on a big lamp. No, John Krasinski was not the sexiest man alive in 2024.5 He was not even the sexiest man on The Office! (That was David Wallace.6) John Krasinski is not even the sexiest man in his own family. That’d be his brother-in-law, Stanley Tucci.
More more more
Amazing work, perfect cover: the casting, the looks, the poses. Magazines! I love ‘em!
Here’s the most LA sentence I’ve ever uttered: everyone went from the Baby 2 Baby gala to Leonardo DiCaprio’s 50th birthday party at San Vicente Bungalows. (Page Six)
I worked sooo hard on this TikTok and someone told me it is very Beyoncé IG carousel coded. Lol…
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That’s all this week! Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend!
Sorry, I also think of that weirdly intense clarification that he was not in love with Jenna Fischer.
Has never said no to anything. Ever! John Legend would perform at the opening of the third book on your nightstand. John Legend would perform at the opening of an Amazon box!
Nothing against him, but how internet-from-10-years-ago was that decision.
Buying Glen Powell stock at a low, low price when I watched Everybody Wants Some!! in 2016 … my best investment …
I actually thought we’d settled this in 2011 when Something Bothered came out and audiences rejected Krasinski as a romantic leading man.
I watched the Idris Elba episodes as they aired … this was during my Office obsession … but I still do not believe they were real.
And the cover image they chose is of a man who was just informed there’s a 45 minute wait at the Cheesecake Factory
We used to be a proper country. Denzel Washington 1996, Jude Law 2004