America ... America Has a Problem: Love Is Blind D.C., Ranked

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There’s a chat about Chromakopia, the new Tyler The Creator album, in the Substack chat. Final reminder that tomorrow’s chat about the Love Is Blind reunion will be paywalled 💘

Monica in Love Is Blind season 7. Photo: Screenshot.

Now that we’ve come … to the end of the road (almost): The Love Is Blind reunion airs tomorrow evening, so it’s time for us to gather for ranking, no? This is a season with a man willing to die over not having condom sex, a man with a secret stud baby mama, a man who got caught sexting while he was drunk at a sleep test. Where does Netflix find these people? Oh, duh, D.C. They can all stay there!

 Overall, this ranking only addresses the drama that happened on camera and made it to air. (A lot of the off-camera drama, post-ep interviews, Tiktok investigations, etc. are not included.) I went back and forth on these a lot — is Leo better than Alex, or worse than Hannah? I’m looking forward to hearing how my rankings align (or don’t) with your own. Ranked from worst (most trifling) to best:

Tyler Francis
I’m really trying to limit this ranking to only on-camera, observable behaviors. But even those sent Tyler Francis straight to the worst position on this list. Tyler was forgettable throughout the pods and his dates with Ashley were also unmemorable. But there is something about the way he told Ashley in Cabos that people in his real life don’t see him as nice, or something to that effect, and that they don’t get the nice version of him because it’s not what they deserve. (I’m paraphrasing.) Huh?? I had a hundred questions: who is he surrounding himself with, and how have their relationships deteriorated? What’s happened to make people expect so little of him? Are these relationships he wants to repair? Which version of him will I get when we leave this experiment? Which one feels truest to him, who should I expect? A concerning answer to one of those things would send me back to the room to look for my packing cubes and make my way home.

In a conversation filmed two weeks before the wedding, Ashley and Tyler discussed the revelation that he was a sperm donor. “I had a very close friend, her and her wife wanted to have a baby,” Tyler told Ashley. “And they couldn’t afford a sperm donor. I thought that was God telling me, you know, ‘Help someone else.’ And it felt good.” Tyler said he “didn’t think” the children knew what he looked like, and that they didn’t have a close relationship. Nevermind that there’s overwhelming evidence that all of that is a lie — he celebrated holidays with them, according to photos shared on social media, and was in a relationship with the children’s mothers, according to videos she shared — but that reveal alone is enough to call off an engagement. If you lied about donating sperm in even a hypothetical conversation about having kids one day … I’m sorry but my first thought is what else is this person lying about?

And the lengths he went to not tell Ashley! This didn’t come up during any pod dates, not during the trip to Cabos, not through the Stephen situation, not until a week into living together in the home city we both share does it become an important detail to your future? Whether Tyler had plans to be in the children’s lives or plans to donate again — that’s a major part of your life to not share with your partner. Psychotic. The rest of Tyler and Ashley’s journey (and eventual marriage) plays like a horror movie from that point. Nothing he says can be trusted! It is disgusting to watch. I feel like that white woman on the plane: This motherfucker is not real.

Ramses Prashad
It all ended for me and Ramses when he tucked his two little locs behind his ear and stood in the kitchen with Marissa