Love Is Blind Season 4's Subjects, Ranked

Really a race to the bottom, when you think about it

This raggedy photo shoot … best non-Survivor reality show on TV I fear! Photo: Screenshot.

The conceit of Love Is Blind doesn’t really make sense: people date without seeing one another, get engaged sight unseen, and test whether love is blind depending on whether they get married to the person they committed to without seeing. The reveal is usually the least of all these couples problems: how someone lives or acts or works are the dealbreakers, not just what someone looks like. And yet! This is one experiment I can never give up on. There is not another reality dating show like it. Who cares when it feels like crack! 

After the pods, a trip to Mexico, and a slate of weddings, Love Is Blind produced three married couples: Chelsea and Kwame, Bliss and Zack, and Tiffany and Brett. Jackie and Marshall didn’t make it to the altar; Paul and Micah split when he said “I do not.” Ahead of tonight’s live reunion, here’s my ranking of all this season’s subjects, ranked from hero to villain.

Bliss’s Sister Zia
An icon living. Due to an eye appointment-slash-unflappable attitude, miss girl stared down Zack from behind her mirrored aviators. Slip an apron over her head because she’s serving! This is the only appropriate reaction to any of the Love Is Blind shenanigans.

Tiffany
The real-life Janine Teagues! Usually “nice” is a red flag description: “nice” means boring, or naive, or simple; if someone can only be described as “nice,” I’m like oh my god, grow up. But Tiffany is so genuinely kind-hearted and emotionally available that I have to respect her. The only crazy thing she’s ever said is that she wouldn’t go for a man who didn’t go to college — higher education is a scam, cannot stress that enough, sorry — but otherwise she is so earnestly and full-heartedly in search of her dream life, like Matilda’s Miss Honey character made real.

Brett
The most well-adjusted person in Netflix history? Brett Brown is empathetic, generous, considerate, handsome: get you a him! Brett is serious about the show’s assignment; the only problem he and Tiffany ever had is that she fell asleep during a date as he was telling her how serious he is about their relationship. The only time he’s ever had a tantrum was when his suit pants weren’t tailored properly. (Reynolds Woodcock teas!)

The only reason Brett is ranked below Tiffany is that he broke my cardinal rule: his engagement photos of Tiffany, while sweet, prominently featured her Gel-x nails that clearly needed a fill/new set. 

Bliss
I said this already in the Hung Up chat (which, if you’re reading this, you should join) but: Bliss reminds me of a college RA. She has the general warmth and bland familiarity of someone you make elevator small talk with about a upcoming floor event. She would memorize everyone’s names, but also bust a dorm party. She would absolutely hang a Live Laugh Love-y inspirational sign in her home unironically. Something has to be a little … off … about her to agree to marry Zack, after all! Bliss is a true neutral: not movingly endearing, or despicably selfish. Bliss just kinda is.

Chelsea
Despite her nails and all the pink in her apartment and saying things like “I want to have a spiritual connection with my husband’s body,” I was pro-Chelsea early on.