̶W̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶,̶ ̶J̶o̶e̶ ̶ Tree Did It, Joe

The Friday Post.

Taylor Swift at the 2024 MTV Video Music Awards. Do you think her makeup artist is ever screaming and shouting protesting these looks bc the glam actually looks so good. (Photo: Roy Rochlin/Getty Images for MTV)

If you have ever gone to a church youth group (so you could see a matinee of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe for free — real experience from my life), or if you’ve ever seen that one video (see below) … you know that God’s timing is always right. Tree Paine’s timing might be, too.

There have been four horsemen of the Tree-pocolypse. Was it so long ago that Tree Paine, Taylor Swift’s publicist but you know that already, had to run interference on the musician-slash-scourge on all communities Matty Healy? The demographic of white women turning on Blake Lively over mean girl allegations seem very close to the demographic of white women who are familiar with her friendship with Taylor Swift. The “Karma” remix guest Ice Spice is even in some drama over a secret steakhouse dinner and the bill for a chicken salad. Tree Paine is still serving time on the Eras tour, and probably — if Taylor Swift’s Hot Topic couture VMAs outfit is any indication — prepping for the Reputation re-release. Enter Brittany Mahomes, who will almost undoubtedly vote for Donald Trump to return to the White House.

What an unlikely foe for a seasoned operative like Tree. Brittany Mahomes is just kinda … always around? She’s inherited a stylist close to Taylor Swift’s team; Swift and Mahomes are regularly photographed together watching Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce compete on patches of grass for jewelry, a pastime known as football. When Mahomes was spotted liking a Donald Trump post on Instagram she complained on her Story and then liked another post. When Trump himself thanked her for her support (and called her beautiful, naturally) she didn’t engage, but she didn’t clarify her voting plans either. At the Chiefs game last week, Swift and Mahomes eventually embraced. I imagine you could hear Tree Paine’s jaw tighten from the 20-yard line.

I’d planned to watch Miss Americana this week, the 2020 documentary that follows Swift’s decision to get “more” (at all) political ahead of the historic presidential election. I wanted to know what exactly Swift said and how, firsthand. (I’ve only seen clips.) Swift stan accounts had already made their displeasure with the Mahomes friendship known. After the clear political statement of Miss Americana, it seemed, Swift’s silence didn’t seem like the silence of being otherwise occupied (with the Eras tour), but the quiet of conservative complicity. After the debate, with its discussions of “eating dogs” and “transgender operations on illegal aliens who are in prison,” Taylor Swift posted an endorsement of Kamala Harris’s bid for president.

taylorswift

A post shared by @taylorswift

“Like many of you, I watched the debate tonight. If you haven’t already, now is a great time to do your research on the issues at hand and the stances these candidates take on the topics that matter to you the most. As a voter, I make sure to watch and read everything I can about their proposed policies and plans for this country,” she began. She mentioned the faked AI endorsement, and how “it brought me to the conclusion that I need to be very transparent about my actual plans for this election as a voter.” She said she planned to vote for the Harris-Walz ticket. “I think she is a steady-handed, gifted leader and I believe we can accomplish so much more in this country if we are led by calm and not chaos. I was so heartened and impressed by her selection of running mate Tim Walz, who has been standing up for LGBTQ+ rights, IVF, and a woman’s right to her own body for decades.” She signed the note “Taylor Swift, Childless Cat Lady.”¹ If you heard someone’s primal, pained scream it was from J.D. Vance, the Trump running mate who originated the “childless cat lady” line and has all the charisma of a hotel mini-fridge.

The effects of a celebrity endorsement are hard to measure, but better late than never. Per the New York Times: “In a brief post on her Instagram account in 2023, Ms. Swift encouraged her 272 million supporters at the time to vote and included a link to the website Vote.org. The site later reported 35,252 new registrations that day, a significant jump compared with the previous year, and an especially significant spike in a nonelection year.” The Taylor-Trump issue is settled, but I don’t think the question of Brittany Mahomes has been answered yet. I’m sure she’s got something else up her silk sleep set-as-outerwear sleeve.²

Speaking of elections … Sabrina Carpenter is courting the Barb vote:

No, I haven’t watched the VMAs yet. Maybe I will watch clips this afternoon. The carpet looks were disappointing enough. Remember when the VMAs were exciting and not just people dressing up in old Britney looks?

An extensive behind-the-scenes of the nine-hour documentary about Prince (from the Oscar-winning director of O.J.: Made in America) that might never see release. “Everything’s here: He’s a genius, he’s majestical, he’s sexual, he’s flawed, he’s trash, he’s divine, he’s all those things. And, man. Wow.” (New York Times Magazine)

I really liked this Cut rundown of what beauty editors really think of celeb beauty brands, particularly how ruthless it was on the lines that are forgotten-about vanity projects. On Brad Pitt’s line: a “money grab that was clearly a move to try to win that winery in his divorce didn’t need to exist.” And on J.Lo Beauty: “Whoever was in charge of the direction of that brand needs to reevaluate if this is the right job for them. A proprietary olive-oil complex? Be serious.” (Btw I said this when it was first introduced … olive oil is comedogenic!) (The Cut)

Shop Rat by Emilia Petrarca

turned one!

Shop Rat party! I read a little something :) Thank you Emilia, Substack, and Outline Brooklyn!

Beyoncé emailed with GQ for a cover story. I love magazines, especially a big splashy revealing (even calculatedly so) cover feature. I wish Beyoncé did too… 

And while we’re here: Cowboy Carter is always getting its lashings on the timeline but we’re not going to act like this is one of the best songs in both these women's catalogs… ³

That’s all this week! Have a good weekend. Tomorrow I will have a bonus music related post for the paid list … a clue … it involves Gag City.

This weekend I’ll be at a wedding in Charlotte — any recommendations, other than the parking lot of the bar Lost & Found? I’ll leave you with this very good Charli XCX cover:

1. “Tree Paine had a Celcius,” proposed Bald Ann Dowd.

2. https://www.glamour.com/story/brittany-mahomes-eras-tour-pajamas

3. What was the thing Peyton said about my “II Most Wanted” love? That I’m too straight to love this song so much? LMAO.