This Is What You Do When You Can’t Get an Architectural Digest Tour, Btw

Notes on the Bronfman-Fallis single-window apartment.

I’m just kinda in a blogging mood this week lol.

Brendan Fallis and Hannah Bronfman attend the 50th Anniversary of Royal Oak hosted by Audemars Piguet on May 18, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for Audemars Piguet)

When, as a member of New York City’s downtown gentry, you can’t get your apartment into the pages of Architectural Digest (or even the online annals of Clever), you must do the next best thing: “invite” a TikToker named “Caleb” over to “tour” your “apartment.” The home tour of New York City-based entrepreneur-influencer couple Hannah Bronfman and Brendan Fallis is all I have been thinking about for several days. Their Nolita apartment is infamous online: most of the space shares one single skylight.

@calebwsimpsonLocation: Downtown Manhattan Occupation: Both are X DJs and now entrepreneurs The designer 👨‍🎨 @thisiseau (on ig) Every time I think I’ve seen it all in new York I stumble into something crazy @Brendan Fallis @hannahbronfman

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Few subjects cross my mind as often as Hannah Bronfman, whom I have followed on Instagram since at least 2013. She seemed cool and erudite then, and I was living in B*ston desperate to be in New York City. (She also posted about fitness in a way that wasn’t annoying.) I have seen it all: the time she encouraged her fans to do more for the environment by “only” taking one cab a day and traverse Manhattan by City Bike instead. (This is how I found out she’s an heir to the Seagram’s fortune.) The time she cried on Snapchat (beautiful filter very much on) after she accidentally said All Lives Matter. Her scalp tattoo! Her Amangansett house! The time President Obama accidentally announced that she’d given birth during an IG live!

Bronfman’s IG posts taught me about Dr. Dennis Gross, veneers, and spa headbands with cutesy ears on them. I have followed her relationship with Brendan Fallis, a DJ-turned-man giving inane investment advice via IG reels (and by this I mean: ex-Banana Republic model) with great interest, from their Art Basel meet cute through their Morroco wedding up to present day, now that they’re parents of two.

But rich men need hobbies, and Brendan regularly attempts interior design. That single-window apartment, with its sterile showroom interiors and hobbit-friendly low ceilings, is his handiwork. Those striking empty bookshelves, the cashmere walls, the mausoleum color palette? He is proud to show these details off. If you need the restroom, a gold-accented powder room — positively Trumpian — is off the great room. Down a hallway is a TV room with so little fabric that it echoes, and there are a trio of spotlights pointed at the television — my God. Look how they massacred my boy.