We Need To Talk About Armie

The Friday Post

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A photo from Armie Hammer's 2011 arrest in Texas for marijuana possession.

“Divorced Man” is like “Florida Man” — they’re always getting into something. I didn’t think it was possible for Armie Hammer to be more divorced. I didn’t think this level of Divorced Man was even attainable. With a Kanye West-Kim Kardashian West divorce imminent, I really thought, “Maybe Kanye will unseat Armie Hammer as most divorced man. Maybe Armie will take a break.” The Instagrams, the tweets, the merry-go-round of dates. Anyway: yes, finally, we will talk about Armie Hammer, those DMs, and the alleged cannibalism.

Some background (and if you know all this, just skip down to the last two paragraphs of this section): This month, an anonymous Instagram account called House of Effie began posting what appear to be Instagram DMs with Hammer while he was in some kind of relation…