What Have You Done This Week to Stop Jared Leto from Winning His Second Oscar?

The Friday Post.

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J*red L*to in The Little Things.

We are, at present, facing three pandeuxmois: the coronavirus, the daily snowfall that is a scourge on New York City, and a burgeoning Jared Leto Oscar campaign. For his work in The Little Things, Jared Leto has been nominated for a Golden Globe (which, as we know, does not matter) and a Screen Actors Guild Award (which, unfortunately for us, does). Something must be done about this.

I have tried to watch The Little Things three times. I have been unsuccessful each time; I cannot for the life of me get through it. When I turn on this movie all I see is: “Denzel Washington — dead women with bags over their heads — adult twin Rami Malek — uncloaked dementor Jared Leto — Denzel Washington, in flashback.” In the scenes I have seen, Leto’s performance is the serial killer standard: His hair is long, his nails are dirty, he spe…