Julia Roberts Wearing Names on Her Shirt

Mother Julia

Did you wake up at 6:45 a.m. to watch the Love Is Blind D.C. finale? No worries because I did. Lol. There’s a chat about it in the Substack app :)

Julia Roberts at the 2024 Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony on October 19 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo: Kevin Kane/Getty Images for The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame)

I am finally, begrudgingly, prepared to announce that it is autumn. There’s a window in front of my desk that overlooks a small park; the tree leaves that used to be a gorgeous emerald have turned to a warm yellow-orange, the color of some vitamin C gummies that I unfortunately am addicted to eating throughout my workday.¹ Whenever I think of the word “autumn” I think of Julia Roberts, who you might know from movies like Erin Brockovich, Ocean’s 12, or Notting Hill (or, or, or), but I — and devoted Hung Up readers will recall this — know her as my mother.²

I think about Julia Roberts at least once a day. It is a consequence of being born in the 1990s and also watching Runaway Bride a lot growing up. I think about how I swear she has more teeth than me, more teeth than almost anyone.³ I think about her applying eyelashes in Charlie Wilson’s War, or carrying a balloon in Closer. I think about the photos she’ll post on Instagram to wish someone happy birthday, I think about how her comments are closed to plebians, but that one day I will gain access.⁴

Lately Julia Roberts