What's Going On With The Glambot Guy?
“He was very rude to me via email in 2019” is a line that’s gonna get me to click every time.
I think a grudge is a beautiful thing to hold. I have an outstanding Venmo request from summer 2020; I still remember the racist joke a classmate told the entire class before 5th grade English class, the girl rushing our sorority who asked if I was “Peyton or the other one,” and also I remember the American Airlines check in desk agent at Tulsa International Airport who is a spy sent to ruin my flight and possibly my entire life. (Once upon a time we faced off all the time … until Delta added a direct flight.) These are memories, not burdens! And my loyalty extends to my closest friends. What do you expect me to do … forget when someone gets an attitude with someone I love?
There are some internecine internet dramas that feel like they were written just for me. A sentence like “He sent me a very rude email in 2019” is melodious to me. “He sent me a very rude email in 2019” is the sort of phrase I think to myself several times a day. “He sent me a very rude email in 2019” means so much to me because I still think about the profile subject who regularly dialed the wrong number when it was time for our interviews, and always said that I gave her the wrong number. (I triple checked after the first misdial, and quadruple checked after the second. I didn’t!)
E!’s Glambot, the latest technological advance to make our lives more difficult, only succeeds in making celebrities look awkward (noble cause). On the Golden Globes red carpet Glambot’s her “Glambot Guy” (real name Cole Walliser) ushered Jennifer Lopez onto her mark. Despite a record-breaking sixth year that she wasn’t awarded for her work in Hustlers, Lopez obliged. “Hi, my dear,” the Glambot Guy said. She mumbled a hello and smized for the camera. J.Lo and the Glambot have a certain primordial understanding: Jennifer Lopez wears the same beat every time, and a version of the same dress to every red carpet. The Glambot only has one single function (expensive boomerang).
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Footage of the interaction went viral on TikTok; critics said it was another example of J.Lo having an attitude. (See also: “Schiaparelli.”) I am of the opinion that J.Lo should be allowed to have an attitude simply because she reunited with her ex, made an album and a music video about their reunion, and a documentary about the making of both, only for him to dump her and not attend her Bridgerton-themed birthday party. If any one of those things happened, I’d have an attitude every time you saw me. I think it’s only right.
Bennifer Are Not Married, Not Divorced, But a Secret Third Thing (Leos)
More from Hung Up this week: The first episode of the Pitt podcast is out! … Thoughts on Heated Rivalry, Marty Supreme, and Wake Up Dead Man … “The wig and bang carrying weapons way too far” and other Critics Choice Awards reactions in the Hung Up chat
