You are so insightful, Hunter. This interview is making me feel reflective. "[Divorce] is the only way to find out who we are in those moments of pain, loss, and shame that come after standing up in front of the people you trust and love the most, only to say later that you hadn’t known what you were doing." This zings straight to the heart of it, and is so true. I felt deeply ashamed when I was first separated from my ex-husband, but sixteen years later, in many ways I feel like the person who went through that is someone I dearly love but don't see very often. I was extremely lucky, though, in that I was able to make a much happier life for myself.
I've also always been a movie kid and definitely studied movies as a guide for being a person; it left me with this strange desire to be Cary Grant AND Bill Murray AND Marilyn Monroe. Stylish, urbane, funny, lightly sexy but not tragic -- those were my goals and essentially remain my goals.
I read "Eat Pray Love" on my honeymoon with my first husband, and it really bothered him. An early sign we were not supposed to be together!
"I felt deeply ashamed when I was first separated from my ex-husband, but sixteen years later, in many ways I feel like the person who went through that is someone I dearly love but don't see very often. I was extremely lucky, though, in that I was able to make a much happier life for myself." i love that!! i like leaving space in our lives for a change that we'll never be able to expect
Excellent interview, Hunter! I loved the question and quote about watching movies and reading to learn how to be a person - I’m not sure I’ve unlearned that or would want to, because reading and watching characters is part of how we develop empathy! I’m going to be thinking about the way they warp perception.
You are so insightful, Hunter. This interview is making me feel reflective. "[Divorce] is the only way to find out who we are in those moments of pain, loss, and shame that come after standing up in front of the people you trust and love the most, only to say later that you hadn’t known what you were doing." This zings straight to the heart of it, and is so true. I felt deeply ashamed when I was first separated from my ex-husband, but sixteen years later, in many ways I feel like the person who went through that is someone I dearly love but don't see very often. I was extremely lucky, though, in that I was able to make a much happier life for myself.
I've also always been a movie kid and definitely studied movies as a guide for being a person; it left me with this strange desire to be Cary Grant AND Bill Murray AND Marilyn Monroe. Stylish, urbane, funny, lightly sexy but not tragic -- those were my goals and essentially remain my goals.
I read "Eat Pray Love" on my honeymoon with my first husband, and it really bothered him. An early sign we were not supposed to be together!
"I felt deeply ashamed when I was first separated from my ex-husband, but sixteen years later, in many ways I feel like the person who went through that is someone I dearly love but don't see very often. I was extremely lucky, though, in that I was able to make a much happier life for myself." i love that!! i like leaving space in our lives for a change that we'll never be able to expect
Excellent interview. The questions, the writing, the books I have to go read now, and the things it's jogged for my own writing today. Thanks!
Read an essay by Deborah Levy immediately after this and am now devastated and in tears. Thanks again for the rec.
hey, would u mind sharing what essay u read? this response + the interview makes me want to look at their work?
https://www.thecut.com/2018/07/deborah-levy-cost-of-living-excerpt.html
I just ordered a bunch of her books from the library, including The Cost of Living
thanks sm!
I can't recommend her memoir Real Estate enough (it's divorce-adjacent, too!)
thank you!! i've now added a half dozen of haley's reccs (in the book and in this interview) to my own reading list
Excellent interview, Hunter! I loved the question and quote about watching movies and reading to learn how to be a person - I’m not sure I’ve unlearned that or would want to, because reading and watching characters is part of how we develop empathy! I’m going to be thinking about the way they warp perception.
Loved reading this interview! So insightful about how to process divorce and separation and the writing process itself.