“I Can’t Believe How Wrong I Was About Jessel”

Talking RHONY with Hola Papi’s JP Brammer.

Ubah Hassan, Sai De Silva, Erin Lichy, Brynn Whitfield, Jessel Taank, and Jenna Lyons at The Real Housewives of New York premiere in July. (Photo: Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Vox Media)

When the rebooted Real Housewives of New York had its premiere, I wasn’t planning to watch. (I, famously, have only watched every Nene season; Remy’s middle name is Linnethia for a reason!) I saw the RHONY cast photo and marveled at how every single person was dressed for a different event: Erin Lichy was dressed as the mother of the groom. Jenna Lyons was dressed like she just left the set from an And Just Like That… cameo that will inevitably be cut. (“Here We Go Mama” indeed.)

I have not found anything to fill the Succession-sized hole in my heart, but I look forward to every Monday morning when I can watch the new RHONY and eat my English muffin. There are no shareholder meetings or unpredictable Swedes, but there are lavish parties where the butter is definitely too cold, someone complaining about…