I Can’t Worry Any More, Darling
How does the old saying go? A lie can travel around the world and back again while Harry Styles’ saliva is still lacing up its lil boots?
This is a special mid-week Hung Up because there is just too much going on. Paying subscribers got something else tonight, too!
After worrying darling, and the worrying not ever stopping, I have reached my final form: I cannot worry any more darling. There is no more worrying to be done. The frown lines that are beginning to form from all the worrying I’ve done up ‘till now: I cannot afford all this worrying darling. There will be no more worrying from me. Or, at least, no more worrying until the movie comes out on September 23.
The last time we talked about this, it was a few words on the Harry Styles accent that would even have Dick Van Dyke going into hiding, and the glee of Olivia Wilde explaining to Maggie Gyllenhaal what an incel is. The Venice Film Festival, where DWD screened (out of competition) this week, has been a cascade of moments that would have me worrying, darling, but please remember that, again, the worrying will not be coming from me.
To recap: The rumors of a falling out between Olivia Wilde and Florence Pugh seem not only true but obvious. (Pugh “wasn’t a fan of her director disappearing so often with her leading man” during filming, reports Puck.) Wilde has praised Pugh at every opportunity; Pugh has, at every turn, declined to return the favor. Harry Styles fans, I guess, hate Wilde for a bevy of reasons; when Shia LaBeouf, on a media blitz of his own, leaked texts and videos supporting his claim that he wasn’t fired from the movie, but quit. One such video featured Wilde suggesting LaBeouf staying on would be “a bit of a wakeup call for Miss Flo.”
At the movie’s Venice press conference, Wilde was asked about Pugh, and continued laying on her praise. A question about LaBeouf, however, was curtly dismissed by the presser’s handlers, telling a reporter that the question “has been answered.” During this, reported The New York Times’ Kyle Buchanan, “the other actors on the dais stared neutrally into space.”
Meanwhile Pugh, absent from dais, was arriving in Venice. She was only scheduled to walk the carpet, and attend the premiere screening, for the same reason she couldn’t get on the phone to give a glowing quote about Wilde for her Variety cover: she’s been busy filing the Dune sequel. But Kyle has another good observation in that NYT dispatch: “Pugh’s reps maintained that she has been too busy filming her new role in Dune: Part Two to commit to obligations, including the Venice news conference, but Dune star Timothée Chalamet was able to clear several days to promote his romantic drama Bones and All in Venice. And one would presume that since Warner Bros. is distributing both Don’t Worry Darling and the Dune sequel, an accommodating schedule could have been carved out for Pugh the moment she signed on for the latter film, especially since it features a sprawling ensemble cast.” I’m Dune worrying darling.
When Pugh arrived to the carpet, she was embraced by Chris Pine, Chris Pine’s silly little camera, and the rest of DWD’s cast (including Nick Kroll, who I did not even realize was in this movie … and if I missed him in the trailer, then whatever).
Pugh’s stylist, Rebecca Corbin-Murray, posted the star’s divine premiere outfit, as stylists are wont to do. But Corbin-Murray captioned her post “Miss Flo,” referencing Wilde’s message to LaBeouf, which stylists are not usually wont to do.
Later, after the movie premiered and received a standing ovation — which everything gets, so that’s not an indicator of anything — Pugh appeared to avoid Wilde’s eyeline.
During that same ovation, Harry Styles kissed Nick Kroll, and, again, honestly a fun night for Nick Kroll it looked like he was having a really good time at this event. Nothing’s worrying Nick Kroll, darling!
During that same standing ovation, some thought Styles appeared to spit in Pine’s face. (The motivation, like why he wouldn’t want to do this is unclear to me and I’m alright with that, honestly.)
How does the old saying go? A lie can travel around the world and back again while Harry Styles’ saliva is still lacing up its lil boots? As Spit-gate made its way around the internet, Pine’s rep issued a denial that he was spat-on: “This is a ridiculous story — a complete fabrication and the result of an odd online illusion that is clearly deceiving and allows for foolish speculation,” Pine’s rep said in a statement to Variety. “Just to be clear, Harry Styles did not spit on Chris Pine. There is nothing but respect between these two men and any suggestion otherwise is a blatant attempt to create drama that simply does not exist.” As for Pine’s clearly bemused reaction in that clip — someone said Pine simply realized his sunglasses were in his lap, and was relieved to find them. As someone who frequently loses my sunglasses in my lap — or worse, on my fucking fivehead — this checks out to me. But I love this denial: she really called y’all foolish!
Meanwhile, Wilde’s stylist Karla Welch, posted something cryptic about there being “more to the story.” I interpreted this to be about Don’t Worry Darling — I mean how could it not be! — but apparently she’s involved in some unrelated drama that has to do with her no longer styling Ana de Armas.
After the events preceding and during the premiere screening, the reviews were mixed to unfavorable. The movie is “neither as bad as some are clearly hoping it will be nor as good as it probably needs to be to overcome the public-relations nightmare its press rollout has become,” offered Vulture. “If this film is really about female pleasure, we’d hate to see Wilde’s interpretation of a film about female pain,” Indiewire observed. “This one hurts enough.” And in the Los Angeles Times: “If Don’t Worry Darling’s back story has become the year’s most appalling Hollywood train wreck, the movie itself, to some relief but also some disappointment, is nothing of the sort. Wilde’s failure here is primarily one of imagination. Her movie is competently acted, handsomely crafted and not half as disturbing as it wants to be. It’s nothing to worry about.”
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Charlie Puth — absolutely committed to never worrying — posted this:
Let me know if I missed anything! But again: as for the worrying, none will come from me.
"I’m Dune worrying darling." good stuff
and to think - we have simon cowell to thank for this.
(also i'm dying at "my fucking fivehead")