Need To Go Back to Not Knowing Who Matty Healy Is
This is not what the line “karma is my boyfriend” was supposed to mean: We are in week three of the Taylor Swift-Matty Healy romance, week three of me knowing who Matty Healy is, and coincidentally week three of Tree Paine’s migraine. Taylor Swift’s industrious publicist has her work cut out for her: Healy seems to have been created in a lab to skulk around and court controversy. I am nostalgic for the time when he was just the random white boy kissing people on stage, and I did not care to learn more about him so I didn’t.
On a podcast, Healy mocked Ice Spice and said he enjoyed watching porn in which black women were brutalized. Onstage, he’s done a Nazi salute and eaten raw meat. He is just kind of a loser edgelord? Am I getting that right? I never took Joe Alwyn for granted, despite him having the charisma of a laser printer, but damn: get him back on the scene! (Now that Joe Alwyn is no longer Mr. Taylor Swift, he can now return to the status of regular British actor, meaning sitting beside Nicholas Hoult in audition rooms, asking his agent if he can submit for whatever Jesse Armstrong’s next thing is, losing roles to Robert Pattinson, and living in the shadow of Hugh Grant.)
Taylor Swift’s fans have had a totally normal reaction to the Healy relationship. Because the devil works hard but Tree Paine will touch-up her roots, get on the redhead hotline, and work harder: Swift and Ice Spice have collaborated on a remix of “Karma.”
The Succession series finale is Sunday and once again I reminding you that the Hung Up chat for paid subscribers is the most fun place to watch along:
Barb Management
A new Barbie trailer was released this week, along with a partial tracklist for the movie’s soundtrack. Executive produced by Mark Ronson, the album features songs from Tame Impala, Charli XCX, Ice Spice, Dua Lipa (who is also in the film), the 3AM girls, and because her wrath is more of a headache than her rollouts, Nicki Minaj. Ryan Gosling makes his triumphant return to the recording studio for a song called “I’m Just Ken.” You can see the full tracklist here.
Margot Robbie was on the cover of Vogue’s “summer issue” — since when does Vogue do the seasons thing? — and the photos are perfect. Finally she beats the ugly dress allegations!
My man my man my man my man!
Martin Scorsese premiered Killers of the Flower Moon at Cannes this week. He did not wear glasses the entire time, but it’s what I’ve come to expect. (The movie got a nine minute standing ovation, but standing ovations don’t mean anything!) You have to see this image from the red carpet that is so wholesome:
The Idol, the Sam Levinson-Weeknd show that will take over custody of Succession’s Sunday nights, also premiered at Cannes. The reviews were almost uniformly negative. All I can say is: lol!
Spotted
It has been six years since Daniel Day-Lewis announced his retirement, and I continue to feel the same way: ‘Daniel Day-Lewis unretire bitch’
In 2017, after the release of Phantom Thread, Day-Lewis announced his retirement from acting. “Daniel Day-Lewis will no longer be working as an actor,” his rep said in a statement to Variety. “He is immensely grateful to all of his collaborators and audiences over the many years. This is a private decision and neither he nor his representatives will make any further comment on this subject.” (I would retire too if four of the greatest living actors — Daniels Day-Lewis and Kaluuya, Timothée Chalamet, and Denzel — all lost an Oscar to Gary Oldman.) For the first time since the Phantom Thread award season, Day-Lewis was spotted by photographers in New York City this week:
The trucker hat, the trackpants, the sunglasses … GQ says DDL is dressing like Chalamet, but really he’s dressing like a man in Bushwick that has a lot of plants but no bed frame. Page Six reports he was seen using a flip phone.
Due Diligence
Honestly the only notable thing that happened this week was the death of Tina Turner. Her HBO documentary, released in 2021, is spectacular. I loved this tribute from the writer (and favorite auntie) Marjon Carlos:
The Color Purple trailer was released this week. H.E.R. — how did s.h.e. make it? — appearance honestly made me laugh out loud. (YouTube)
Very much “I didn’t kill the family dog, I killed the family sister” vibes in this Grubstreet story about the Horses chefs and the dead cats. (NYMag)
Phoebe Bridgers appeared to acknowledge that Keith Urban is all up in her business:
Meanwhile
It is almost summer, the season that belongs to leos me and DiCaprio. Look at him charging his batteries, ready to take on the season, via a Cannes scene report in Variety:
Two things here that I need to bring to your attention: wearing a baseball cap to a black-tie dinner makes me spiritually unwell. Tobey Maguire wearing a black suit and brown sneakers? That is nasty. (The chain, however, makes sense.)
Speaking of summer, I’ll leave you with this Sharon!!!!!!!:
Have a good weekend, and see you Sunday for Succession!
I can’t get past a fully grown adult man at his big age going by Matty professionally
if The Idol got bad reviews at Cannes where they love Lily Rose’s parents and porn passing for cinema, it must rrrrrreally suck