Ben Affleck Updating His LinkedIn
Ben Affleck Updating His LinkedIn
The Friday Post.
Very spooky vibes today … I don’t know … Friday the 13th is not sitting right in my spirit.
Casey Affleck is a travel blogger now, and Ben Affleck is working the Dunkin Donuts to go window. Celebrities — They’re just like us!
Seven months after their first wedding, and six months after their second wedding, the Bennifer honeymoon is over. It was time for two leos to leo: On Tuesday, Bennifer was spotted at a Dunkin in Medford, Massachusetts serving coffee, and, if I know Jennifer Lopez, filming some kind of spon.
I do not like to spend time cataloging the goings-on in Massachusetts but: Dunkin’ customers reportedly said Affleck was “just as funny, quick-witted and nice as you would imagine."
I do think part of this is the Bennifer effect: The cardinal rule of Jennifer Lopez is that she will not let a man embarrass her. The second-to-cardinal rule of Jennifer Lopez is that she will not-not be rich. (Last month TikTok exposed Lopez for being a horrible tipper, the least surprising detail in the world.) It’s why her near marriage to A-Rod made so much sense: J.Lo is an entity, J.Lo is a business. Rodriguez understood this, Lopez told the New York Times once, and he encouraged it: “He just opened up our vision to other ways of doing business, that were not only more lucrative but gave us more freedom, gave us more control.” Sometime during that relationship, Lopez had a boardroom built in her house. Affleck’s price just went up; he just started a new production company.
Usually “homegoing” is reserved for black funerals. Somehow it feels appropriate for Ben Affleck, who has finally stepped his little Jordan 1 Lows into a Dunkin Donuts on Massachusetts soil.
What the Paid List Got This Week
A discussion about Spare, Harry, and the royal family.
The Golden Globes, In Brief
I missed half of the Globes, but started a thread in the app about them. For those who missed:
The winner is Jennifer: The night’s big winners were The Fabelmans, Everything Everywhere, Abbott Elementary, and The White Lotus. All deserved wins, but the best speech was Jennifer Coolidge’s accepting the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series: I love the meaningful and moving speeches, but the Globes are boozy and raucous. Getting bleeped in a speech is what the Globes are made for.
The other winner was Brad Pitt: The weird vibe around this Golden Globes worked out in one person’s favor. Brad Pitt was seated front and center all night. He was nominated for only one award for a movie no one has seen (Babylon), but four winners or presenters onstage acknowledged his presence. The message was clear: no one cares about the domestic abuse allegations against him, or they’ve already forgiven him. Bizarre to watch!
Hilton Als was not a fan of host Jerrod Carmichael: “Bitter smugness is not really a style, but it can be part of one’s self-proclamation,” the New Yorker critic wrote on IG, “especially if you’re bathing in the privilege of lines like, ‘And so my publicist called again and said again,’ etc.”
You can see the full list of winners here.
The Rih-Turn
“superbowl when” is something I, by the power invested in Rihanna, just Googled: On Sunday, February 12, Rihanna returns for her Rih-naissance. Do I know where the Super Bowl will be? No. Do I know who is playing? Absolutely not. Do I know what the reward is? Of course I do: an audience with Rihanna.
On Friday morning, Rihanna teased her return to the performing arts on Instagram:
A whole video promo but playing a song that is seven years old?? Rude, iconic, no notes.
Tree Paine Falling Off
I am 1975-agnostic but I am Matt Healy opposed. Once a week I have to scroll past twenty videos of this man sucking thumbs or licking faces; he is damn near chewing his fans' toenails. I am black: this is nasty to me!
Taylor Swift made a surprise appearance at the 1975’s London show, and performed “Anti-Hero” and a cover of The 1975's “The City.” For one night, at least, Healy suspended the shenanigans:
Miss Flo-gue
I wish the supermarket photo or the gold dress photo were chosen as the cover image but: is there a more gregarious star working today than Miss Flo? This video was a treat:
Those boring as-hell W covers … the less said about them the better.
On Henry Louis Gates PBS series “Finding Your Roots” — the show that helped Ben Affleck hide that his family owned slaves, lol — Julia Mother! Roberts learned that she is actually biologically Julia Mother! Mitchell. These findings have no bearing on her legacy; whatever her last name, she is still biologically mother to everyone born in the 1990s.
Just a Truly Wonderful Turn of Phrase
“Hot men are like a spoon rest for the dirty spoon of my dirty mind!” An amazing Ask Polly.
Due Diligence
Hallelujah! Jane Fonda’s cancer is in remission! (E! News)
Kanye had “a small marriage ceremony” with a 27-year-old Yeezy designer. (Us Weekly) Lori Harvey and Damson Idris are dating. (Vibe) Gwen Stefani says she is Japanese. (Allure) Lisa Marie Presley has died at 54. (NYT)
This Daniel Kaluuya Chicken Shop Date clip is two years old but going viral again … yeah … a lot of men in Hollywood should be scared. A movie star is among us:
Titanic sails again February 10.
That’s all this week! Thank you for reading. I’ll leave you with this: the Indiewire critic David Erlich’s annual supercut of his favorite movies of the year.
Do people disbelieve Jolie or just truly not care? Is he ever seen with his kids anymore? WHAT IS HIS CONTINUED APPEAL?
I am waiting for the cursed day I open a BA/JLo post and it’s their separation announcement.