I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the vibes are sincerely … off lately. Everything feels very … Annette Bening staring in to space in the bathtub in 20th Century Women. Very much Meryl Streep screaming at the dinner table in Big Little Lies. I would even go so far as to say Natalie Portman asking Barbara Hershey “What career?” in Black Swan. I want to set a car on fire. I’ve heard that Mercury is in retrograde, or something. Is it that surprising then that Gigi Hadid is dating her friend Cami Morrone’s ex, or that Leonardo DiCaprio has crossed paths with Zayn Malik’s baby?
Not to say I told you so but: my feelings have not changed.
Men play tooooo muuuuuuch— this man really said Rihanna is a mother now! Maybe it’s time for me too! I see the type of stan he is.
DiCaprio has made the brave decision to make inroads with the over-25 community. As a member of that community, I say: Good luck. People says: "Leo is definitely pursuing Gigi." The actor “is not someone who is in-and-out of relationships,” an insider told Page Six. “He doesn’t jump around hooking up. They are taking it slow.” Baby he’s 47. Which is not old, but you know what I mean — he’s not a lot of jumping around any damn way.
This news made me gasp when I first heard it, but now I’m just kinda … okay! Sure! Leonardo DiCaprio not dating a woman over 25 is the equivalent of people quote-tweeting old Trump missive with “there’s always a tweet.” It’s just so … tired to me … so … corn nation … a certain jenny se quah … like if Amy Schumer is making a joke about it at the Oscars, time to pack my shit up and go.
What Paying Subscribers Got This Week
Have you noticed that Chris Pine has been wearing lots of silly little shoes? It’s all I can think about.
Crack On Deck
I simply woke up at 6 am this morning — I’m on God’s timing, not mine — and by 6:27 I pressed play on the three episode Love S2 Is Blind coda: After the Altar.
It is really all I can think about. The way my jaw dropped … multiple times … in multiple ways … Nick and Danielle putting on a SHOW here, girls.
Monday night I will be convening for a thread post to discuss, because I know not everyone wakes up at the crack of dawn to watch Shayne and Natalie and Shaina and Jarrett and Sal and Mallory and, and, and…
Woman Enters Recording Studio
Rihanna has been out and about lately. Unfortunately she is with her man Sorry, excuse me, sometimes the Leo in me takes over
v @ViralMaterialz
https://t.co/LBH5rdWrkERihanna accompanied the man that owes me money the Barcade rapper A$AP Rocky to a recording studio this week. It is to all our detriment that it would appear he is making music and not her! Let me go listen to “Same Ol’ Mistakes” and pray about this.
The Euphoria Boy is Elvis in Sofia Coppola’s Priscilla Presley Movie
It is literally just … something that happened, per Deadline.
Back to the other Elvis movie: I have kept that fucking soundtrack on repeat all week! I was like … what did Baz put in this … Tame Impala and Doja Cat and this totally nice ‘song to play during a makeout’ track.
Look How They Massacred My Boy
No one will let Whitney Houston rest in peace. A teaser for a biopic of the singer — scripted by someone behind Bohemian Rhapsody if you want to lose all faith in humanity today — was released this week.
I want to keep an open mind. Maybe Naomi Ackie will be good, maybe the movie will be fine! But this … no ma’am … look how they massacred my boy (Stanley Tucci):
He Hit My Phone With a Horse, So I Know That Means Come Over And Ride It
Glen Powell and Bridgerton’s Regé-Jean Page are making a new Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid-ish western TV series, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
I am unconvinced by Page because he did absolutely nothing for me in Bridgerton; the series is created by the Russo brothers who are responsible for every Avengers movie looking like a CBS procedural. But if you are in line to get Glen Powell a job — STAY IN LINE!
This Won’t Worry Me, Darling
Someone claiming to be a DWD production assistant posted a TikTok about making two trips to Shia LaBeouf’s house to deliver him scripts. The PA notes that one one flash drive there was a teaser-sizzle thing feature Gemma Chan and Chris Pine (unclear if he was wearing his silly little shoes). The poster found it odd that Florence Pugh wasn’t in the sizzle, but that doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me — the other lead (Shia) also wasn’t in it.
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Meanwhile, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills-ers Dorit Kemsley, Crystal Kung Minkoff, and Sutton Stracke starred in a new ad promoting the movie:
At the New York Times, Nicole Sperling reports that an upcoming Olivia Wilde directing project, about the gymnast Kerri Strug, is dead: “according to three people with knowledge of the project who were granted anonymity to discuss its status, Wilde abandoned the movie after asking for multiple rewrites from different screenwriters before walking away, believing the script was still not ready for production.” She has a Marvel movie, which may or may not be a Spider-Woman movie, and a holiday comedy from Universal in the works, the Times says.
Florence Pugh, permanently unbothered and I love that for her, posted a Tiffany & Co. ad about “the power of unity.”
Kelela Lives!
Renaissance made me return to Take Me Apart and": it is just as good as you remember, if not even better.
Due Diligence
I either don’t care or can’t exhaust the topic further.
Drake is fighting with some type of Macklemore lookalike music critic. Cannot spend any time on this one, sorry, it is not in God’s plan for me to care about this. (Variety)
J.Lo has a LinkedIn, finally answering the important query: “Youse who?” (The Cut)
Jan Wenner hating his biographer so much that he wrote his own memoir is so petty like oh my God. Joe Coscarelli has a good, short thread on it all here. I love Joe Hagan’s work and honestly now I want to read Sticky Fingers all the more!
I really did try to read the Timothée Chalamet British Vogue story, but when I read the mention of Showtime’s Homeland, I thought about this video and suddenly my whole day was gone:
And Anyway Speaking of a Barb:
What is going awn in house Minaj? This deserves a longer deep dive — with an army of prayer warriors around me, I will sacrifice myself — but Nicki Minaj falling for Azealia Banks’ trolling? Something to worry about, darling.
That’s all this week! Thank you for reading. This weekend I’m going to see The Woman King, and will be watching more What We Do in the Shadows.
Every time you post that video of Timmy Tim...my whole body cringes but in a way I like? Will have to reflect on this further
Kelela being back is the only thing that matters!