Local Man Makes Inroads With Over-25 Community

The Friday Post.

Just a random photo I have on my computer of Leo on a moped, idk. Photo: Who knows.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the vibes are sincerely … off lately. Everything feels very … Annette Bening staring in to space in the bathtub in 20th Century Women. Very much Meryl Streep screaming at the dinner table in Big Little Lies. I would even go so far as to say Natalie Portman asking Barbara Hershey “What career?” in Black Swan. I want to set a car on fire. I’ve heard that Mercury is in retrograde, or something. Is it that surprising then that Gigi Hadid is dating her friend Cami Morrone’s ex, or that Leonardo DiCaprio has crossed paths with Zayn Malik’s baby?

Not to say I told you so but: my feelings have not changed. 

Men play tooooo muuuuuuch— this man really said Rihanna is a mother now! Maybe it’s time for me too! I see the type of stan he is.

DiCaprio has made the brave decision to make inroads with the over-25 community. As a member of that community, I say: Good luck. People says: "Le…