And If I Said The Timothée Chalamet Lookalike Contest Benefited Club Chalamet In Ways You Wouldn’t Imagine

The event went according to Club Chalamet’s master plan, which is always changing.

No Friday Post last week because I was in Boston. The Love Is Blind reunion is on Wednesday! There will be a paywalled chat in the Substack app.

Club Chalamet (left) and Timothée Chalamet (right) at the premiere of Wonka in Los Angeles. (Photo: Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images)

Hundreds of boys with dark brown hair and sharp features convened in Washington Square Park on Sunday with one objective: to be crowned the day’s top Timothée Chalamet lookalike. On offer: $50 and the hearts of a grateful nation. The event, announced in mid-September, might only be eclipsed by the United States presidential election.¹ The afternoon was, by all accounts, raucous: the event’s organizers didn’t secure a permit, resulting in the conclave getting shut down by police. A Timmy lookalike (I’ll rate his resemblance a 6/10) was arrested (for a look too reminiscent of Beautiful Boy? Fuck the NYPD!). The boys were dressed as Chalamet’s characters Willy Wonka (Wonka) and Bob Dylan (A Complete Unknown).² Chalamet himself showed up: “Hey man, what’s up?” he said, crashing the party. 

But my attention was turned toward Club Chalamet, the Timothée Chalamet stan account who has blocked me and unblocked me and is — both because of those facts and despite them — my favorite account on the internet. Since the event’s announcement, Madame Club Chalamet³ was certain that Chalamet wouldn’t be caught within a country mile of the event. “A few people have asked if I’m sure Timothée won’t attend that lookalike event in NYC on Sunday. I’m not part of his management team, but, I highly doubt that he’ll attend,” she wrote. “But, he could look at it from the safety of a high and secured room. LOL!”

It is good that she clarified that she’s not part of his management team. I’m not sure who would think that, but it’s definitely good to reaffirm. I would love to see a list of security concerns of a summit of Timothée Chalamet lookalikes … there is a risk of them … looking like him too much?

Anyway.