What Celebrity Couple Did You Take Personally?

𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓵𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 💬

Yes I have seen these photos. Substack is rolling out a new live video feature and I will try it out to discuss 😎 Download the Substack app to join me Thursday at 7p ET! Also there’s a chat about The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives in the app now, too.

Aston Kutcher and Demi Moore attend the 18th Annual "A Night At Sardi's" Fundraiser and Awards Dinner at The Beverly Hilton on March 18, 2010. (Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage)

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were just one of them ones — there was not a more important celebrity relationship to me growing up. It didn’t matter that I’d seen as many Demi Moore movies as Ashton Kutcher movies (knowing Auntie and Lifetime, I’d probably seen half of Ghost; the trailer for Dude, Where’s My Car a lot). Brangelina was for everyone else; Demi and Ashton were for me. In line at the supermarket, I read every tabloid cover line about them. How did they know each other? Where did they meet? I could not imagine anything more glamorous than a woman in her 40s woman finding a young hot boyfriend who was obsessed with her.¹

There are a few celebrity relationships that have loomed large in my subconscious, and most of them coincided with the first time I picked up an issue of CosmoGirl. Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth. Keira Knightley and Jamie Dornan. Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes. Did Alicia Keys and Common ever date, or did they just make music videos together? Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield, of course, but Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield doing that one pap walk asking people to ignore them and donate to charity, absolutely.² I lose many minutes thinking about Billy Crudup leaving (pregnant with his child) Mary-Louise Parker for (24-year-old) Claire Danes at least once a month. I am famously anti-sending voice memos longer than 45 seconds, but if you have information about the divorces of