As Far As I’m Concerned, Jared Leto Isn’t In House of Gucci
The Friday Post. (Taylor’s Version) (Not Really)
This is The Friday Post, Hung Up’s weekly roundup of celebrity mess and miscellanea. If you like this kind of thing, why not subscribe?
No, I’m telling you, I’m not doing this.
He’s not in this movie.
This is a movie about not letting anyone tell you who Patrizia Gucci is, not even Patrizia Gucci. This is a movie about subtly shading Bradley Cooper. This is a movie about accents, about power, about disco, about being Italian American. This is a movie about earnestly genuflecting Father ….. Son …… House of Gucci. There’s also, of course, a bathtub scene.
There are a lot of people in this movie, too! Lady Gaga, first and foremost and forever. The actor and high fashion centaur Adam Driver, too. Salma Hayek. Al Pacino! Jeremy Irons. Jack Huston. Also some other people, yes. But not him, not here. On the issue of whether or not he is in this movie I will bravely declare: he is not.
There will be no Oscar campaign, there will be no sitting on the late night couches and telling silly little jokes. There will be no chatter about method acting, no backlash to the chatter about method acting. There will be none of that. We’re not doing it! He’s not in this movie, we don’t have to hear about him, I don’t have to deal with it. That’s someone else, a new actor, a fresh face. It’s not him. He’s not here!
What Paying Subscribers Got This Week
An important look into hot weirdo Adrien Brody’s Succession costume: he puts the vest in investor!
Britney is Free!
A judge — not that it matters, but Insecure showrunner Prentice Penney’s mother — terminated Britney Spears conservatorship Friday afternoon!
Five Minute Song is Now 10 Minute Song
Devoted Hung Up readers will recall that I am a late in life Taylor Swift listener (and that Amy Adams will win an Oscar for a Tree Paine biopic and not a moment before!). I listened to “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)” today and I can’t believe Bradley Cooper’s tethered is still walking among us. With the nerve to be stinky too!
Some are saying the actress referenced in the song is Jennifer Aniston. I am not a Swift authority, however, so I will not make any predictions at this time.
Shailene Woodley Continues Her Campaign to Force Me To Know Who Aaron Rodgers Is
Last week, Aaron Rodgers — football player and self-described “critical thinker” — faced criticism for saying he was in the “the crosshairs of the woke mob right now,” and Big Little Lying about his vaccination status. This week, his fiancé Shailene Woodley broke her silence, put on her clown makeup, and defended him.
In a series of posts, Woodley claimed that news outlets are “STILL grasping at straws to disparage Aaron,” as if his own words coming out of his own mouth haven’t already done that. She posted screenshots of a Daily Mail story with paparazzi pics of a man resembling Rodgers, and attempted to fact check them. “I know Aaron’s body VERY well,” she wrote in one post. “First off, his feet, ahem and no offense to this random dude, are a LOT bigger.”
And then she posted a winky emoticon face, because apparently I can never know peace.
Please Just Give Will Smith the Oscar
The dual King Richard-Will memoir press tour needs to end!
Aaron Sorkin, the director and humorless 1OAK patron, is directing a movie about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, he addressed the casting controversy surrounding Nicole Kidman and also brought up a point that I have never in my life heard before:
People assumed The Social Network was going to be a romantic comedy? What?? If you have any evidence of this, please DM me.
Anyway: Thinking today about how my favorite thing about The Trial of the Chicago 7 is that it lost every Oscar it was nominated for.
Really not sure how this slipped through the cracks last week:
At this time I have to get back to watching Love Life’s second season on HBO Max. I finally caught up on Insecure this week and I cannot believe Lawrence is screaming, crying, throwing up over a little hour and a half flight once a week. Anyway! See you Sunday for Succession!