Certain figures walk among us with a cockroachian ability to stick around. I, for example, am bound by laws of time and space and shame and a primal curiosity for information that is largely meaningless, like who hired that writer or if that girl I went to school with broke up with her boyfriend. The people I’m talking about, however, might only be bound by the internet speed needed to find drama to create it. If there is foolishness to be done, a day can expand its hours.
One of those people is Jennifer Lopez, briefly Jennifer Affleck. (You know how that turned out.) At her lowest — music video-memoir flopped, tour canceled, skincare line dropped from Sephora retail stores, husband bounced — J.Lo will always emerge. “It wasn’t the summer Jennifer Lopez was hoping for,” reads the lede of an Interview magazine conversation between Lopez and the Comedian Niki Glasser. “After a summer of rela…
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