Death by a ̶T̶h̶o̶u̶s̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶C̶u̶t̶s̶ Bootcut
The Super Bowl, according to the Hung Up chat.
D.C.: See you Wednesday!
On Sunday night, some men ran to the right side of the screen with the ball. Other men ran to the left side of the screen with the ball. There were kicks and throws and confetti.1 Kendrick Lamar’s cutie patootie-ass told Drake about himself, and did it in bootcut jeans. Travis Kelce’s lace front was lifting on the sidelines. The Haim sisters flanked Taylor Swift in a VIP box. Jalen Hurts, in Jesus’ name!
This was the Super Bowl according to the Hung Up chat, a group that was mostly Eagles-supporting but entirely hater-obsessed. Kendrick Lamar and SZA2 headlined the halftime show (doing “Luther” and “All The Star” together); Pete Davidson and Kevin Costner sat next to one another up in the stands. Imagine the ugliest watch you’ve ever seen, and that’s what Tom Brady (powered by Duracell batteries and strip mall Botox) wore on his wrist the entire night. Every celebrity you could ever think of cashed a check to appear in a Super Bowl commercial. My favorite, dramaturgically, was the Dunkin Donuts commercial featuring the Afflecks and Jeremy Strong.
I liked Kendrick Lamar’s halftime show. I was in favor of prioritizing “GNX” over older material — this particular show, arriving in his career at this moment, is about embracing the rosy-cheeked hateration. The staging was expansive and dynamic. Serena Williams, a Drake ex, joined the set to crip walk! But it all moved too slowly; every Super Bowl set is about squeezing as much material in as possible. Occasionally the movements between songs and sets lagged, and my mind wandered. As for the Uncle Sam (played by Samuel L. Jackson) and the Americana of it all … well, no! Every person in popular music has the same shallow critique of “the state of the nation,” or whatever, and they are all pretty flimsy.
But even though I live with a Chiefs fan, I have eyes. My eyes see … an Eagles win! I ended the night listening to my favorite Philly man.3
The Hung Up chat was popping as usual.4 My favorite exchange was Elizabeth H saying “Tom Brady’s voice is too high…” and Gelissa replying “its ’s the rat in him.” (No clue why but that had me chuckling, girl.) Here are the highlights from the chat:
Thank you for watching with us!
The Philadelphia Eagles defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 40-22. The Chiefs didn’t score anything until after halftime! Crazy. But I’m not the person to deliver a critique about this … we read
for a reason!
More about the Super Bowl on Wednesday’s ep of “Lemme Say This!”
During the Grammys we had someone say they didn’t care for Beyonce; last night we had to educate a few people on my lil “3AM” girls.
“I’m gonna hold your hand while I tell you about the back of jersey” still sends me 😂
I was there it was rare