If You See Me Dancing With Usher That’s Between Me And Usher
The Friday Post.
One thing you might have noticed about men is that: they are embarrassing.
Think of any man — for no dollars name a man — and I would guess that he has, in some way, embarrassed you. If you have ever attended and dropped out of Vacation Bible School, as I have, they say the only perfect man died on the cross. (It is supposed to be reassuring.) Jesus threw a tantrum in that mall. I’m sure Mary was embarrassed by that. If a man has not embarrassed you, devoted Hung Up readers will recall, he has just not embarrassed you yet. He is lying in wait. Your number will soon be called.
Keke Palmer, the actress and singer and once-in-a-generation-can-do-anything entertainer, had a good ol’ auntie time on a girls trip to Las Vegas to see Usher’s Vegas residency. (Even Usher, who has wooed generations of women, wants to work with Drake, a man whose very occupation is “the ick.”) Palmer was serenaded by Usher, and reacted thusly:
After clips from the show circulated, Darius (Daulton) Jackson, Palmer’s boyfriend and the father of her son, logged onto Twitter in a raggedy mood. “It’s the outfit though..” he began. “You a mom.”
As the quote tweets and replies rolled in, Jackson doubled down: “We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife and mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others and he gets told how much of a hater he is.” As wrongheaded as this sentiment is, I have to admit when I’ve been outdown: the phrase “showcase booty cheeks” is bellissima.
Jackson appeared to deactivate and then reactivate his Twitter account when observers combed through his likes. (The usual gems were found there: incel-y complaints, shaming other women for dressing for themselves and not their husbands, etc.) There is one piece of information about Jackson that, once I read, all I could do was sigh. Oh. Of course. Duh. His older brother is Dro from Insecure.
If this were Jennifer Lopez, the patron saint of refusing to let a man embarrass her (but exclusively messing with embarrassing men), we would simply never hear from Darius Daulton Jackson ever again. He would be a memory, he would be a footnote. J.Lo would do a little cartoon-style running in place in the race to excise him from her life. Jackson has done that honor himself, deleting every photo of Palmer from his IG. She, in turn, has continued minding her business. It’s unclear if they’re still together, but I wish my sister another Usher serenade wearing whatever she wants.
I cannot be clearer: If you see me dancing with Usher that’s between me and Usher. If you see me dancing with Usher, that’s me walking in my purpose. If you see me dancing with Usher … well then what God has joined together, man must never separate!
Death By a Thousand Elon Snafus
With the introduction of Threads and the sudden rationing of Tweets, it feels like the season finale of Twitter (again). In November, I wrote a personal last rites to the website when it was fun and not constantly crashing.
You can read that piece here.
“Like If Cleopatra Grew Up in a Small Town”
Taylor Swift released her re-recording of “Speak Now” on Friday, which I was not preparing for because devoted Hung Up readers will recall that I am a late-in-life Swiftie (circa “False God”). That said: once I saw the lyrics to her “from the vault” song about watching Emma Stone date Kieran Culkin (?!) … this is all I can think about.
'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down / Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town … “Seven” is sending a cease and desist … just the image of Cleopatra walking around Talequah, Oklahoma or something. (Stone is from the not-small town of Scottsdale, Arizona.)
Speaking of Ms. Swift: I let out an unexpected giggle reading the Wall Street Journal’s deep dive into Harry and Meghan’s (flailing) development deals. For Archetypes, Meghan’s single-season interview podcast, WSJ reports that “Meghan wrote Taylor Swift a personal letter asking her to come on the podcast. The pop star declined, through a representative.” I can only imagine this will be in a montage in the Tree Paine biopic that Amy Adams will win her Oscar for.
Due Diligence
Keeping an eye out for Selener: maybe she’s dating The Bear’s Jeremy Allen White, maybe not. (Elle)
A member of Spurs player Victor Wembanyama’s security detail slapped Britney Spears, who approached Wembanyama to say hello. (@BritneySpears)
Who wasn’t at the all white party hosted by some billionaire I’ve never heard of except for me and Stephen A. Smith?
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070 Shake and Lily-Rose Depp update: https://twitter.com/EurobeatParty/status/1677124599257997313
That’s all this week! Thank you for reading. Metrograph is showing a series of Yaphet Kotto movies (including Thomas Crown Affair, Across 110th Street, Blue Collar) — I have no connection to this but if I were in New York this weekend I wouldn’t miss it.
Selena Gomez’s 18 Hour Social Media Break
Following the Golden Globes whisper almost heard ‘round the world, and speculation of a Selena-Kylie-Timmy feud, Selena Gomez announced she was taking a break from social media. (It is her third favorite thing to do, after complaining about her music career and having bad taste in boyfriends.) “I'm off social for a while. I'm focusing on what really matters,” Gomez posted on Instagram Wednesday. She ran the caption with a photo of her boyfriend, the music producer Benny Blanco, and two unidentified children. The break lasted approximately eighteen hours. She crossed her own picket line to post promo for her cooking show, Selena + Chef.
Perfectly put! And the fact that you didn't even say his brother's real name but Dro from Insecure 😭
the lily rose depp read took me OUT. but they had a point she looked a mess